by Russell Brand has been deported from Japan after someone in the immigration department watched his remake of the 1981 Dudley Moore classic, Arthur.
Though Japanese officials have been quick insist that his deportation is actually linked to his previous life as a drug addict, government insiders claimed they could not provide a temporary home to a man trying to ruin Moore’s legacy.
Immigration officer Masakazu Yoshi told us, “There is no debate, he’s been deported – it’s just a shame we couldn’t deport every copy of his film whilst we were at it.”
“I’d been looking forward to it for a while, I mean, who doesn’t love the Dudley Moore original?”
“But Russell Brand is no Dudley Moore. It makes me angry just to look at him, so we had no choice but deport him and his ridiculous wardrobe.”
Russell Brand Deported
Despite criticism from movie studios and film organisations, Japan has insisted that it is very much a friend to the arts, which is why they wanted Brand gone.
“It’s not like we’re burning books or demolishing art galleries, is it? We’re merely pointing out that casting an eccentric Englishman to remake a film that is still brilliant, is a transparent money making scheme and we don’t like it.”
“Yes, I’m sure it seemed like a great idea at the time – ‘hey, let’s get Russel Brand to play someone who is essentially Russel Brand’ – took a big risk there, didn’t you?”
“Plus he’s not very good at playing Russell Brand.”
