Ken Clarke to halve sentences for people committing ‘light-hearted rape’

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Justice secretary Ken Clarke has defended plans to halve sentences for offenders who commit rapes that are a more light-hearted attempt at forced sexual intercourse.

Mr Clarke insisted in the interview on BBC Radio 5live that some instances of rape are more serious than others, and as such should hold differing sentences.

“Serious rape involving a bit of violence cannot be compared to light-hearted rape that might involve a clown costume and a fake flower that squirts chloroform.” he insisted.

“We should also consider what lengths the rapist went to in order to make his victim feel comfortable – did they tell a few jokes, treat them to a slap up meal? Was this a ‘nice’ sexual assault and therefore deserving of a lesser sentence?”

Clarke to cut sentences for ‘nice’ rapes

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Sexual predators have welcomed Mr Clarke’s comments with one listener phoning in to say “I go to great lengths to ensure my sexual assaults are as pleasant as they can be – and not just for me – so it’s nice to see that my efforts are finally being recognised by the government.”

“If I ever get caught I’m sure this new sentencing approach will come in handy.”

Mr Clarke also revealed that a reduction in sentence could be applied to other crimes as well as rape.

“I think these plans will send a clear message to criminals that they should should think before they act.”

“I think the public will sleep easier at night knowing that they are more likely to be killed by someone suffocating them with a Laura Ashley pillow rather than a petrol-powered chainsaw.”

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