Clegg unhappy with NHS reforms now that he’s actually read them

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Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has revealed that he will oppose aspects of the planned NHS reforms after results at the recent council elections prompted him to actually sit down and read them.

Mr Clegg, who had previously claimed that his dead grandfather, Dr Hugh Clegg, would have supported the proposals, has now decided that he is against the idea of a regulator promoting competition as part of NHS reforms.

Mr Clegg told Lib Dem MPs and peers on Tuesday night that his late grandfather had in fact been wrong all along.

“I can’t believe I signed off the reforms and voted for them! How stupid do I feel,” he said. “That’s the last time I listen to the opinions of a dead person.”

Clegg to oppose thing he supported

Mr Clegg has promised to swap his previous role of standing next to Conservatives and nodding enthusiatically, for a more “muscular liberalism” as he attempts to make the Lib Dems a teeny-weeny bit different to their Conservative partners.

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A Lib Dem insider said, “Nick really means it this time, this opinion is definitely the one he holds, and he will be sticking to it for as long as he thinks it’s what people want him to do.”

“This is just the start,” insisted Clegg. “I’m off now to read some proposals about an increase in tuition fees that I voted for, so watch this space.”

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