FA confirm rules are optional for clubs with expensive lawyers

author avatar by 13 years ago

After QPR avoided a points deduction for breaching transfer regulations, the Football Association have confirmed that they only inflict the harshest punishments on clubs that are unable to afford better lawyers than them.

The decision, which was originally expected on Friday, was delayed until 12 o’clock on Saturday, while the FA compared their own legal team against the vastly superior members of those representing the West London club

“After checking the credentials of QPR’s defence we have decided that it would be easier for us to impose a fine rather than the points deductions we normally hand out to less wealthy clubs,” revealed an FA spokesperson.

“We were also a little worried about their ability to spring a counter attack which could cost us millions of pounds that could be better wasted by trying to bribe FIFA officials to give us a World Cup tournament sometime this century.”


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Swansea, who finished third, said they have not ruled out the possibility of taking action over the decision despite not giving much of a shit when they were sat in fourth.

“If we don’t go up via the play-offs, it’s important that we at least give our fans something to feel really bitter about,” said Swansea chairman, Huw Jenkins.

There has also been further criticism that the £875k fine given to QPR will have about as much impact on the club’s cash-happy owners as the Lib Dems have on government policy, but the FA remain defiant.

“We also had to take into account health and safety issues,” the spokesperson revealed.

“If we’d imposed a points deduction, Neil Warnock’s resulting meltdown would have made Fukushima look like a puncture on a child’s tricycle.”

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