Aircraft carriers named after Queen and Prince because they’re a huge waste of money, confirms MoD

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The Ministry of Defence has confirmed that the Royal Navy’s two new aircraft carriers have been named after the Queen and the Prince of Wales because, much like them, they are an enormous waste of money.

The cost of the aircraft carriers was originally thought to be in the region of £5.2bn, which according to the Confederation of British Industry (CBI) is roughly the same as the cost of tomorrow’s Royal Wedding to the economy, but the firms building the new aircraft carriers say the cost has risen by at least £1bn and possibly almost £2bn.

An MoD spokesperson revealed, “It seemed a fitting tribute that two people who have contributed absolutely nothing to the country at the taxpayers expense should have the honour of having their names put to what amounts to 120,000 tonnes of metal contributing nothing to the country at the taxpayers expense.”

“Also, we’ll be spending millions of pounds sending them to the far flung corners of the world for years to come, so the Royal symmetry doesn’t end just with their manufacture.”

Aircraft carriers ‘as expensive as namesakes’

Royalists have said they are delighted with the impact the aircraft carriers have on the country, insisting they do more good than harm.

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Royalist Miriam Walters said, “People come from all over the world to have attacks launched at them by our aircraft carriers, we should be proud they’re ours.”

A Navy spokesperson concluded, “Of course, their main function will be to aim various weaponry with the intention of harming foreigners, which is why we didn’t name one after Prince Philip, we thought that would be a little too close to home.”