by Voters still unsure of the merits of the alternative vote system have insisted that they are struggling to identify a single candidate that they would consider voting for, let alone a second, third or fourth choice.
Under the alternative vote system, voters will be able to rank candidates in order of preference, but some voters have insisted that this would be like voting for your top 5 favourite Joe McElderry songs.
As one experienced voter explained, “Nobody wants to improve the fairness of the electoral system more than I do, but the AV system seems to work on the basis that there is a plethora of top quality candidates to choose from, rather than a deeply unpleasant rabble of incompetent dickheads.”
“Maybe they should focus on presenting us with one, just one, half-decent candidate that doesn’t look like he’d happily stab you in the face with a screwdriver for the outside chance of getting himself a Junior minister position.”
“It’s like Groucho Marx famously once said, I think, ‘I could never vote for someone that actually wants to be an MP’.”
AV campaign steps up a notch
The Yes and No campaigns are expected to tone down their language after accusations of scaremongering following George Osbourne’s insistence that the alternative vote system would see an increase in paedophile activity, and Ed Miliband warning voters that the continued existing of the first-past-the-post system could give you cancer.
Business secretary Vince Cable, who will share a platform with Ed Miliband to rally support for AV, has dismissed David Cameron’s call for people to follow their ‘gut feeling’
“You should rank your feelings in order of preference.”
“If your head and heart get more votes than your gut, then you should dismiss your gut, but allocate the second choice of the gut vote to a second round of votes.”
“What could be fairer than that?”
