F1 boss Ecclestone announces plan to release pheasants on to track mid race

author avatar by 13 years ago

Formula One chief Bernie Ecclestone says there is growing support for his plan to release pheasants onto race tracks mid-race in an attempt to lift the tedium that accompanies each and every lap of each and every season.

Ecclestone believes the comedy value a plume of feathers and a shower of guts could significantly increase interest in the ailing sport.

F1 insiders claim that most drivers are aware of the need to revamp a spectactle that makes self-flagellation seem like cherub administered foreplay.

Ecclestone told assembled reporters, “The sport needs to move with the times, and our drivers need to occasionally provide the entertainment that is so clearly lacking in the current racing format.”

Eccelstone’s F1 proposals

He went on to explain his rational, saying, “I mean, who wants to sit down for the best part of two hours to watch the guy who started at the front of the grid finish in first position with little or no obstruction?”

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“I actually came up with lots of ideas prior to the pheasants, but they all were rejected.”

“We pushed to have tracks converted into dual carriageways with racing conducted in opposite directions, but what with going abroad all the time drivers would have to get used to driving on the left one week and the right the next, so that was unworkable.”

Ecclestone said he hoped the pheasants could open up new revenue streams with sponsorship of the road-kill said to be uppermost in his thoughts.

“Yeah, that’s definitely got delicately flavoured legs. I’m particularly thinking ‘Red Bull gives you pheasant wings’.”

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