Wayne Rooney pledges loyalty to £250k a week salary

author avatar by 12 years ago

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has moved to reaffirm his unflinching commitment to his £250,000 a week salary, insisting the only thing that could make him leave Manchester United is if another club offered him more.

The 25-year-old signed a new five-year-contract in October and insisted rumours of him leaving his million pounds a month salary in the summer are complete nonsense.

Rooney told reporters, “I’ve seen the reports, and I have never read so much rubbish in all my life, I love my salary, and can’t imagine earning this sort of money anywhere else.”

“My relationship with the £250,000 I receive a week has never been better, and I would never do anything to jeopardise the special bond we’ve formed since last year.”

“Well, unless of course a team seeking an over-rated hot-head came in with an extensive list of OAPilfs I could frequent along with as a significant uplift to the £250k a week that keeps me about as loyal Nick Clegg in a coalition negotiation meeting.”

Wayne Rooney committed to Manchester United

Fans of the league leaders are delighted with Rooney’s ongoing commitment to his salary, insisting that nothing makes them happier than hearing about his continued enjoyment of receiving their money.

Season-ticket holder Mick Gallagher told us, “You have to remember that football today is full of mercenaries, so to hear Wayne say how committed he is to his salary from Manchester United is an absolute joy.”

“We’re the greatest salary dispensers in the premier league, so this is definitely where he belongs – at Old Trafford, picking up a quarter of a million pounds. Every. Single. Week.”