Black people don’t like villages, insists Midsomer Murders creator

author avatar by 13 years ago

One of the creators of ITV’s Midsomer Murders series has told the Radio Times that the show doesn’t have any black people because viewers wouldn’t suspend disbelief long enough to imagine ethnic minorities living in the English countryside.

Producer Brian True-May was questioned as to why the series did not feature any people of any colour other than white, but insisted that this is what the racist public at large wants to see.

He told reporters, “Black people are all about inner-cities and ghettos, whilst white people are gentile and refined – and it’s important our show focuses on that reality.”

“What Midsomer Murders is all about is making a show that’s completely believable, which is why this tiny village has had 222 murders in 14 years.”

“It would destroy all those years of hard work if we just had one of those black fellas walking down the street, even in the background.”

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“Plus from the moment he appeared on the screen, everyone would think he did it. Though I suppose we could try making one of them the victim? I’m sure the viewers wouldn’t mind that.”

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Fans of the show have backed True-May, claiming that the fictional English countryside is no place for black people.

BNP supporter Shane Michaels told us, “I don’t want black faces ruining my Sunday evening as I drift off into the idyllic world of Midsomer with its fresh air, beautiful scenery and weekly brutal violence.”

“The producer is right and definitely speaks for all of us – the viewing public don’t want them anywhere near our television screens.”

However Trevor Matthews from pressure group Kick Racism out of Sunday Night Scheduling told us, “It’s high time we put an end to this stereotypical portrayal of ‘white on white’ violence.”

“But if we’re talking stereotypes, you can forget about Brixton and inner city London, the most dangerous place to live in this country is clearly Midsomer.”