Charlie Sheen ‘already better than everything on Channel Five’, claim critics

author avatar by 13 years ago

Charlie Sheen’s recently launched uStream Internet television channel, in which he films himself making phone calls and rambling at nobody in particular, is already better than everything on Channel 5, critics have said.

Sheen, who yesterday filed a $100m lawsuit against the makers of Two and a Half Men for daring to notice that he’s clearly insane, is also the fastest Twitter user to reach 1 million followers.

Television critic Barney Crooker told us, “For a few years now Channel 5 has been the destination for anyone wanting to watch proper car-crash television with no artistic merit whatsoever, even more so since Richard Desmond took over.”

“But what Charlie Sheen has done, in the blink of an eye, is provide programming significantly better at fulfilling that niche than anything you could find on Desmond’s channel.”

“I’d bet that right this moment Desmond is parked outside The Priory hoping to accost some drug-addled celebrity thinking of checking themselves in, in the hope of giving them their own television show – which they get to keep on air as long as they don’t seek treatment.”

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Charlie Sheen on uStream

Viewers have reacted positively to Sheen’s new channel, claiming it offers everything you get from Channel 5, but with a little added celebrity sparkle. Plus the possibility of an on-air mental breakdown of truly epic proportions.

Internet owner Mike Shorey told us, “I love it, plus unlike Channel 5 there are no adverts to break up the endless torrent of witless morons.”

“Watching Charlie Sheen ramble incoherently at an unseen caller is about five times better than watching OK! TV’s Kate Walsh ramble incoherently about what bikini Katie Price wore whilst on holiday last week.”

“I just hope he survives long enough to make this a regular thing.”