Obscure BBC nobody revealed as father of obscure BBC nobody

author avatar by 13 years ago

A BBC employee you have never heard of has revealed the identity of a second, even more obscure BBC employee you couldn’t care less about, and who turns out to be his dad.

The revelation comes in this months Radio Times, in an article sure to be of interest to people who closely follow the life stories of people they couldn’t pick out of a line up if their lives depended on it.

“Mum said it was up against the bins, round the back of the Indian High Commission,” said Julian Kelsale, assistant director of the BBC Yacht Network’s fortnightly ‘Sail Ho!’ programme.

“She had got pissed at Thursday afternoon post-production drinks in Bush House, and ended up talking to [deputy regional head of BBC Human Resources] Jeremy Leggett about the proposed changes in freelance invoicing.”

“Next thing she knew, he was zipping up his trousers, she was pregnant, and he didn’t want to know.”

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BBC presenter’s unknown father

Kelsale, who has never before revealed the secret of his mother’s mundane in-house tryst, shook with emotion as he revealed further details that were of no possible interest to anyone but himself.

“Mother always told me that my father was a senior manager at the Broadcast Policy Unit at Wood Lane,” he sobbed.

“In the school holidays, I used to catch the bus to Shepherd’s Bush and hang around TV Centre, looking through the upstairs windows and wondering whether my daddy was inside, conducting a comprehensive review of commissioning processes.”

But Kelsale now knows that his biological father, a grade 6 manager with responsibility for Human Resources matters in Kent and East Sussex, rarely visited TV Centre and even then only in a regional liaison capacity.

“Or to try it on with people’s mums,” added Kelsale bitterly.

Today the 46 year-old may have a glittering career with involvement in a number of digital platforms across the BBC’s Yacht, Canoe and Kayak remit, but he is proud to have achieved his success alone.

“Most people in the BBC only get a job because their dad works there,” he says.

“My dad wouldn’t even write me a reference. The shit.”