The nation’s growing obesity crisis appears to have been averted as a new procedure allowing overweight people to donate their excess fat to starving Africans is to be rolled out on the NHS.
The new technique will see pounds of hideous blubber removed from thousands of overflowing muffin tops, and injected into the wiry frames.
Doctors at the Klaxon Institute who pioneered the technique, told us, “Losing weight is hard, but now we have a way to make it easy, and to do some good whilst you’re at it.”
“Sure, you might feel guilty about that large kebab you had last weekend, but now you can rest safe in the knowledge that the fat it produces would save the life of people like Adembo in Burkino Faso.”
“You get slim, they get to live a bit longer. What’s not to like?”
In the video below, the Klaxon institute explain how the procedure works, and shows one of the pilot programme’s success stories.