David Beckham is to receive a lifetime recognition award for a career spent demonstrating his unwavering dedication to exploiting every marketing and sponsorship opportunity that presents itself.
35 year-old Beckham is expected to receive the award on Sunday evening, after a career amassing an incredible 4,234 commercial sponsorship deals.
As one sports journalist explained, “David has brought sports people into the new millennium, showing them they don’t have to struggle by on just tens of thousands of pounds a week in wages.”
“With the right level of dedication, and willingness to promote anything from underpants to aftershave, you can earn millions and millions.”
“He’s set a commercial track record that I don’t think will ever be beaten. In years to come we’ll look back and realise just how good he was at selling himself for money.”
Beckham lifetime achievement award
Beckham has been hailed as a role-model for any budding sports person looking successfully exploit their commercial potential.
18 year-old footballer Michael Reeves told us, “I might just be starting out in my career but I look up to David Beckham and try to emulate him commercially at every opportunity.”
“Just this morning I negotiated a deal with the local butcher for access to free pork chops once a week for appearing in a photo with him where I look moodily at the camera.”
“I went into JD Sports to ask how much they’d give me to wear their tracksuits, but they weren’t too keen to be honest. Still, I’ll keep trying.”
“If I have to knock on the door of every business in the country in order to prostitute myself, I’ll do it. It’s the David Beckham way.”