Our cleansing is economic, not ethnic, Cameron assures Johnson

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Prime Minister David Cameron has reacted angrily to Boris Johnson’s claims that benefit cuts would mean ‘Kosovo-style social cleansing’ in the capital, by insisting that his planned cleansing is purely economic, and nothing to do with race or religion.

London Mayor Boris Johnson told reporters, “We will not see and we will not accept any kind of Kosovo-style social cleansing of London.  Not whilst I’m the mayor.  I am the mayor you know.  Of London.  It’s frightfully super fun.”

However MPs have criticised the tone of Johnson’s statement with the prime minister himself defending the governments plans on benefit reform.

He told reporters, “We obviously welcome a socially diverse community throughout London, one made up of all colours, creeds and backgrounds, just as long as they all earn over 50k a year.”

“So we obviously refute Boris’ Kosovan accusation – this isn’t ethnic cleansing, if anything this is more like a gentrification exercise.”

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Cleansing London

Londoners have been reassured by the prime ministers comments, claiming they suddenly feel much more comfortable about the whole situation.

Accountant Derek Smith told us, “All this talk of Kosovo style thinking got me very worried.  I’m half Irish, so I know I’d be one of the first up against the wall if they went down the ethnic cleansing route. My freckles are a dead give-away.”

“But as it is I made £55k last year, so I’ll be just fine thank you.”

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