Michael Jackson, who is famous for albums such as Thriller, dance moves such as the moonwalk, and inappropriate behaviour such as paedophilia, has been announced as the highest earning dead celebrity in the last year.
Sales of Jackson’s albums sky-rocketed after it emerged that music sounds better when the person that made it has died.
“When he was alive I could take it or leave it,” revealed one music buyer.
“I quite liked some of The Jackson 5 stuff and his early solo material was okay, but I wasn’t that fussed about his later stuff.”
“But the instant his heart stopped beating I started to hear it in a completely different way and felt compelled to buy every single thing he’d ever released, including DVD’s, posters, books, literally anything I could get my hands on.”
“I probably wouldn’t have bothered with his live shows when he was alive, but I’d certainly queue up for tickets now he’s dead.”
Michael Jackson earnings
Music industry bosses have watched the increase in Jackson’s record sales with interest and they have revealed plans for artists that they believe would sound better dead.
“The dead sound seems to be really popular amongst the record-buying public and Michael captures that sound better than anyone,” revealed an EMI spokesman.
“We’ve approached the public to see if there’s anyone else they’d like better if they were dead, and as a result we intend to announce Robbie Williams’ death within the next few days.”