Accidents and emergencies should be treated elsewhere, say A&E departments

author avatar by 14 years ago

A&E doctors have insisted that more accidents and emergencies should be treated away from their A&E departments, to ensure they are not so busy all of the time.

The move comes after A&E departments have been left full of people who have suffered various accidents and emergencies in places outside of the A&E department.

As one A&E doctor explained, “We could start with nightclubs.  Is an unconscious teenager, or a glass in the face, really worthy of a trip to accident and emergency? If anything, they should go to the Deliberate and Unnecessary department.”

“If we could provide bouncers with the basic skills necessary to stitch up a face carved into rashers by a broken glass, then I might be able to take a proper dinner hour every now and again, for example.”

“People seem to think the A&E department is for any old accident and emergency, when in reality it’s only for the accidents and emergencies that we actually want to take.”

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Accident and Emergency

There has been early support for the recommendation from people who have failed to grasp the concept of ‘accident’ or ’emergency’.

Doris Weathers said, “I have no intention of having an accident or an emergency, so I’m happy for the A&E docs to fob their responsibilities on to anyone they see fit. Even if they’re not fit for it.”

“Of course, if my plans were to change and I thought that I might indeed have an accident or an emergency then I might feel a bit differently about being treated by a poorly-skilled cost saving measure.”