After announcing the mysterious circumstances surrounding the death of extraordinary sports predictor Paul the Octopus, Ladbrokes are the latest bookmaker to be interviewed by investigating officers.
Paul the Octopus was found dead, apparently after passing away in his sleep, but suspicions were raised when it was pointed out Octopuses sleep in water tanks, no on top of queen-sized divans in the master bedrooms of stately homes.
Police leading the investigation said, “We’re obviously looking for motive, and who had a better motive than the organisation which lost the most money from this cephalopod’s remarkable ability to correctly predict the outcome of a few 50/50 events.”
A Ladbrokes spokesperson has strenuously denied any wrongdoing, telling reporters, “Sure, we lost a few quid thanks to Paul the Octopus, but what bookmaker didn’t?”
“It’s nothing we would murder an Octopus over. Unless he moved into cricket, obviously.”
Paul the Octopus
Experts have have suggested that Paul the Octopus even predicted his own death, his keeper telling investigators, “We sort of translated his last message that something with eight legs was going to die this week, but to be honest the smart money went on the remaining members of Boyzone.”
“This is a tragic loss to the world of anthropomorphism. Little did he know the effect he had on gullible morons everywhere.”
“His memory will live on, and I just hope that out there, somewhere, he has inspired other animal keepers.”
“Right now there might be a cat that can pick horse race winners, or maybe a frog whose croaks predict the winner of X Factor.”
“And I’d like a cut, obviously.”