FA reveals plan to swap Gareth Bale’s birthplace with Basingstoke

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The FA has announced that it is in negotiations to move the Whitechurch area of Cardiff to England with Basingstoke moving in the opposite direction – a swap deal that they hope will make Tottenham left-winger Gareth Bale eligible to play for England.

An FA spokesman, “Gareth is just the sort of player that England needs. He’s young, he’s hungry for success and at 21 years of age he hasn’t sexually assaulted anyone.”

“Unfortunately we are faced with the small technicality that he is Welsh and has played for Wales.”

The spokesman went on to reveal that relocating Whitechurch to England was just one of a number of proposals that had been put forward.

“We have looked at redefining the England/Wales border so that Whitechurch becomes part of Gloucestershire, but that would involve Newport becoming part of England, and no-one wants that.”

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Gareth Bale

The government has promised to look into the proposals and has reassured the people of Wales that Basingstoke is a town that any country in the world would be proud to call its own.

“Basingstoke could provide Wales with a number of things that would enhance their quality of life, such as hot running water and electricity.”

“Also, anyone from Basingstoke would be eligible to play for Wales.”

“I think Walsall’s Oliver Lancashire and Elizabeth Hurley would walk into the Wales team.”