Liverpool football club will today be renamed the Merseyside Red Sox following the takeover by New England Sports Ventures.
The move comes after the club finally found an organisation willing to pay over two-hundred million pounds for a team currently sat in the Premier League’s relegation zone.
Fans have reacted positively to the news, telling anyone who will listen, “We’re absolutely delighted, obviously. We’re swapping one set of American owners we knew nothing about, for another set of American owners we know absolutely nothing about. I couldn’t be happier.”
“It’s like a fairytale really. A fairytale in which we will probably spent the next few years bitching and moaning because we still haven’t won the league yet.”
“And let’s be honest, anyone who’s ever worked in a pub up here already has a strong affinity to baseball bats.”
Merseyside Red Sox
The name change is expected to take place before Christmas in order to take advantage of the lucrative ‘screaming child’ market, in which Liverpudlian youngsters will demand huge foam hands and large peaked caps, despite the annual hours of sunshine in the North West being just ‘four’.
New owner John W Henry said “First up we want the premier league renamed the World Championship – who cares if teams from only one country can compete, would you rather be English champions, or world Champions?”
“If it’s good enough for America, then it’s good enough for you Limeys.”
“We also want the games to last up to seven hours, because the longer you’re in the stadium, the longer you’re spending money. Even if in this part of the world it tends to be other people’s money.”