Genetic defect causes people to ‘moan about headaches’

author avatar by 13 years ago

Scientists have identified a genetic defect linked to people who moan about having a really, really bad headache before taking the rest of the day off.

A flawed gene found in a family of headache moaners could help trigger severe outbursts of self-pity and attention seeking, a study in Nature Medicine suggests.

Dr Zameel Cader of the University of Oxford said the discovery was a step forward in understanding why one in five people insist on telling absolutely everyone around them whenever they have a headache.

Researchers said the defective gene enabled sufferers to better identify situations in which their moaning would receive the most amount of attention.

“It’s a bit like a sixth sense.  They appear to know the exact perfect time to ask people to shut the curtains because they’ve got ‘a doozy coming on’.”

“They also have the uncanny ability to moan at the exact frequency required to ensure being sent home from work to enjoy an afternoon at home watching the tele.”

Migraine treatment

The discovery is expected to lead to new treatments for headache moaners, with a race now on to be the first company to market a new treatment.

One pharmaceutical company explained, “We foresee a quick blood test to identify carriers of the gene, after which point we can train people to ignore all the bitching and moaning that comes from their mouths.”

“It could save billions in lost productivity, and completely unnecessary sympathy offered to the carriers of the gene.”

“It’s just a bloody headache.  Get on with it.”