As the Guinness Book of Records unveiled the world’s smallest cow, everyone said that it’s interesting and everything, but how does it taste when you shallow fry a slice and serve with chips and onion rings.
Swallow, a Dexter cow from Cheshire, stands 33.5in (0.8m) tall from hind to foot – shorter than most sheep, and speculation is now rife as to how exactly she might taste.
As one meat enthusiast told us, “How can we even be sure she even is a cow, if we don’t chop it up to make delicious pies out of her.”
“I’ve never eaten a tiny cow, and I must say I’m pretty intrigued. I bet it’s a lot like Panda.”
The tiny cow was born in Newbury, Berkshire in 1999 and bought by the Ryder family at a rare breed auction in 2006 when they thought they were buying a dog.
A family spokesperson explained, “Every year around barbecue season we have a big row about whether to turn her into steaks, or whether to exploit her in a slight different manner.”
“I can only say that we’re delighted we decided to chop up a different cow on each occasion and that we have finally got her in the Guinness Book or Records.”
“Mainly because there will be no objections when I want to chop her up next summer.”