Nadine Coyle set to become Tesco Value popstar

author avatar by 14 years ago

Retail behemoth Tesco have announced that Girls Aloud singer Nadine Coyle will release her new album exclusively through the supermarket chain as part of their budget value range.

Head of entertainment Rob Salter has revealed that Tesco’s value range, which is synonymous with sub-standard products purchased by those that are desperate or have no taste, is the perfect place for the singer to showcase her solo talents.

“We believe that Nadine has delivered an album that will speak to all our customers, specifically those that can’t afford to buy a proper Cheryl Cole album.”

“If Nadine Coyle isn’t to your liking, then in the next display you’ll see a great deal for 100 Tesco value sausages for just 24p, and you’ll be hard-pushed to resist our fabulous new range of cat wormers, perfect for any Nadine Coyle fan.”

Nadine Coyle

The album, entitled Insatiable, will be released on November 8th and sold exclusively in 1,200 Tesco stores across the UK, retailing at the strangely specific price of £5.37.

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Tesco shoppers have shown varying degrees of apathy after the announcement, with one commenting.

“I could spend £5.37, or whatever, in November on an album I have little interest in, or I could wait a year and buy it for 50p in the PDSA charity shop on the High Street.”

“I’m sure she’s doing well out of it, but I bet she’ll soon tire of always having to wear a blue and white striped dress with her name in red on the front.”