Barbara Windsor secures role in Miliband soap opera

author avatar by 14 years ago

After Labour leadership candidate Ed Balls likened the daily battles between Ed and David Miliband to an ongoing soap opera, Barbara Windsor announced that she has been hired to play the ageing matriarch with an iron fist at the head of the Miliband family.

Balls, who appears to be trailing the Miliband brothers in the battle to sit in opposition for the next five years, made the claim just days before voting begins among those Labour members who can be arsed to make the effort any more.

The Miliband camp have welcomed the addition of Barbara Windsor, and see it as an important step in convincing anyone who will listen that this is an important leadership election and does affect the future direction of the country, honestly.

As one former Labour supporter explained,”The signing of Barbara Windsor is the biggest left wing coup since Castro took charge in Cuba.”

Miliband soap opera

The disappointment at the quality of the Miliband soap opera to date has been voiced by many backbenchers, with one explaining, “As soap operas go, this has been pretty rubbish. It is the El Dorado of political entertainment.”

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“When was the last time your saw the Queen Vic filled with heated discussion over a £6bn affordable homes policy?”

“And you never see the Rovers Return reverberate to to the sound of a mass debate on whether David Miliband’s foreign secretary experience really makes him better leadership material than Ed Balls – a man who makes John Major look charismatic.”

“Where is the infidelity, which of them has the smack habit, and which one of them is really the father of the baby of the girl who works in the laundrette – this is what we really want to know.”