A-Levels is not getting more simpler, insist A* pupils

author avatar by 13 years ago

Pupils and teachers have reacted angrily to suggestions that A-Levels are getting easier after pupils scored record-breaking results for the 28th year in a row.

Critics have pointed to the fact that results have improved continually over nearly 3 decades as proof that the minimum requirement for passing would be to have a brain the size and consistency of a Dairylea cheese triangle.

However, pupils have reacted stroppily to the claims and insist that the results reflect the amount of hard work that they put into their studies.

“It’s not fair,” huffed Tasha Griggs, who received A* grades in everything.

“I studied relentlessly during the ad breaks for Corrie and Hollyoaks, and to say the exams are getting easierer is insulting. If anything they are getting more unsimpler.”

John Eveleigh, who received 1 A, 3 B’s and 2 C’s, has agreed with critics who insist that the exams are getting easier.

“I’m 42 and I haven’t actually taken any A-Levels, I just got lost in the local college a couple of months ago whilst looking for an adult literacy class, and doodled on some paper someone put in front of me.”

“But I got the results by text this morning. Obviously I’m delighted, if a little bit confused.  Apparently I’ve been offered a place at Portsmouth Uni.”

Teachers believe that criticism has dampened excitement on what should be considered a great achievement by both teachers and pupils.

Head Teacher David Thatcher told us, “It’s easy to assume that just because the results are always better than previous years, that exams must be getting easier, but it’s just not true.”

“The results should be attributed to the hard work and dedication of the teaching staff and the pupils, who just happen to be considerably brighter than last year’s bunch of thickos.”