Hitler enthusiasts celebrate new channel Five investment

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Hitler enthusiasts were in jubilant mood today after it was announced plans to invest £1.5bn in channel Five for programming over the next five years will mean a considerable improvement in documentaries featuring the popular dictator.

New owner Richard Desmond is keen to bring his own unique brand of programming to the channel, claiming he knows what viewers want, and that is more Hitler.

“We’re delighted to announce a number of planned improvements to our schedule, which will be great news for our viewers.” Said a spokesperson for Five.

“We’ll be showing Hitler in colour, Hitler in 3D, HD Hitler and an hilarious new show called Hitler’s Outtakes. You haven’t laughed until you’ve seen Hitler in stitches after Himmler falls into a mass grave.”

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It’s not just Hitler fans who will benefit from the investment to channel Five’s programming, with programmes such as Ice Truckers Do The Funniest Things and Michaela’s Emergency Bikers also planned.

One delighted viewer enthused “This is great news! What I want when I get home from work is something that will allow me to switch off from the stresses of a day in the office.”

“And what better way to do this than watching a really bad film starring Dolph Lundgren or Steven Segal, followed by Hitler walking into a patio door that he thought was open.”