Beckham to plead with Capello for more time away from Victoria

author avatar by 13 years ago

After Fabio Capello’s admission that he considers David Beckham ‘too old’ for his squad, the veteran midfielder has pleaded with the England manager to give him just a little more time away from his wife Victoria.

Beckham, who has earned 115 caps, is facing the very real possibility of zero international travel and therefore spending every waking hour cooped up in America with the former pop-star and professional coat-hanger.

He told friends, “I moved to Italy on loan. Twice. This should tell Capello everything he needs to know about my total commitment to spending at least a couple of months of every year away from Victoria.”

Beckham went to South Africa in a non-playing capacity after Capello relented upon hearing that Victoria had booked a private island for them during the tournament, a fate he could not in all good conscience inflict upon the fifty-eight times England captain.

Capello told reporters before England’s 2-1 victory against Hungary, “I am not a cruel man, and I was happy to give David some time away from his wife in South Africa, but now it is time for him to man-up and face his matrimonial duties head-on.”

International retirement

Despite apparently falling out of favour, Beckham is insisting he will do absolutely anything to stay involved with the national team.

He is said to have told Capello, “I don’t think you understand, when I’m not playing football she makes me wear strange clothes she has ‘designed’, or even listen to ‘songs’ she has recorded.  It’s the very definition of hell on earth.”

“I’ll do anything to stay involved with England.  I’ll clean the kit.  I’ll look after the cones, I’ll translate for Wayne Rooney.  Please.”

“Maybe we could come to some sort of arrangement where I’m selected, but never play?  It could be our little secret?  I wouldn’t even need to join up with you – it just needs to convince Victoria.  I would pay you handsomely for this, obviously, I’m very rich you know.”

With his England options fading fast, Beckham’s agent has been tasked with uncovering a believable domestic reason to be away from his wife.

He said, “I’ve already asked if David can play for two MLS teams. Preferable one on each coast, which would involve a LOT of travelling and overnight stays. He’ll even do it for free.”