Sol Campbell set for transfer to St James’ park treatment room

author avatar by 14 years ago

Sol Campbell looks set to sign for Newcastle United, in a move which will see him relocate to the treatment suite left vacant since Michael Owen’s departure to Manchester United.

Campbell, 35, is likely to sign a two-year contract that will see him humiliated by a number of premier league strikers before suffering a string of injuries that will ultimately lead to him being released from his deal next summer.

“We’re planning to make the treatment room nice and welcoming for him,” said Newcastle manager Chris Houghton.

“We’ve set aside some money so we can decorate the place to his taste, and make it feel like home, because that’s essentially what it will be for the next two years.”

Campbell is said to have rejected the offer of a one-year deal from Arsenal due to the lack of facilities dedicated to non-playing players at the North London club.

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Negotiations are set to conclude today, with the results of a thorough medical expected to be completely ignored some time this afternoon.

However, according to Campbell’s agent, there are still a few sticking points on his contract that have yet to be ironed out.

“We have yet to hear back from them regarding our demand for a box-set of High School Musical DVDs, plus our request for a monthly soft-furnishings budget.”

“That might not sound like much, but we see it as a sign of just how committed Newcastle United are to ensuring Sol’s time in their treatment room is as comfortable as possible.”

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