We’ve been really busy with other non-G20 stuff, insist CPS

author avatar by 14 years ago

The Criminal Prosecution Service has insisted it missed the deadline to bring common assault charges against the officer who hit Ian Tomlinson moments before his death because they’ve been really, really busy for the last 15 months.

The policeman concerned has escaped prosecution of any kind following the decision not to proceed with more serious charges, a decision made after the CPS claimed there was conflicting evidence given by two experts and an idiot with a medical licence.

CPS chief Keir Starmer QC told reporters, “We’ve had a lot on this last year, what with all the Met Police work they’ve been sending us – far more than normal to be honest.”

“Then there’s all of the really long meetings they kept inviting us to, asking loads of really simple questions about operational procedure, over and over again.  Taking us out for beers so we couldn’t work overtime.  They’ve been really friendly, actually.”

“Before we knew it, the six month deadline had passed and those meetings with the Met Police suddenly dried up, which was a bit of a surprise.”

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“It’s difficult, because you only get 6 months to bring a common assault charge, and by the time we got round to considering doing so, it was actually too late to do anything with it.”

“I’ll be honest, it’s a bit embarrassing, it’s the first time we’ve missed a deadline on a case where there was so much evidence, and it just happened to be about an on duty policeman.  What are the chances of that? ”


He went on to explain further reasons for the lack of any apparent prosecution of the officer concerned.

“Six months isn’t very long if you actually think about it properly.  The middle of February is six months ago now, and it only seems like five minutes, doesn’t it?”

“Really, we should be congratulated for ever managing to bringing common assault charges against anyone, such is the small half-year period in which we have to do so.”

“Yes, we still hit our deadlines in 99.9999% of cases.  Surely that’s got to be worth something?”

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