Apple announce hands-free iHelmet for problematic iPhone 4

author avatar by 13 years ago

Apple has responded to criticism of its problematic iPhone 4 handset by announcing the immediate release of the iHelmet, which will remove the need to ever touch the iPhone ever again.

The helmet will allow users to hang the phone by the side of their head, preventing the need to actually make troublesome contact with the handset itself.

The helmet itself converts everything above your shoulders into an antenna, ensuring that should you still make accidental contact with the iPhone 4, there is now only a 70% chance that you will drop the call.

Steve Jobs explained, “The iHelmet is a revolution in hands-free communication – which is now considered a pre-requisite in order to use the iPhone as an actual phone to make phone calls with.”

“Hats and helmets have been with us for hundreds of years, so you already know how to use the iHelmet.  Only now we’ve combined the wearing of a helmet with a solution for using a phone that doesn’t actually work as a phone.”


The iHelmet will go on sale this weekend for £199, and consumers are already queueing outside London’s Apple Store to get their hands on the eagerly anticipated new product.

Apple fan Dwight Smith told us, “I’ve been waiting for years for Apple to release a product that addresses the perennial problem of having a slightly cold head.”

“And not only does this almost entirely eliminate heat loss from the cranium area, it also means I can use my iPhone 4 to communicate remotely with other mobile phone users.  Genius.”

“This is another master stroke from Apple, and I simply won’t hear another word on the matter.”