by Leaked documents have shown that the highly anticipated new advertising campaign from We Buy Any Car dot com is to contain a two-minute virtuoso performance from a vuvuzela solo artist.
The advertisement will show a series of people dancing badly and blowing the one-note vuvuzelas directly into the viewer’s face, with a suited man screaming “We Buy Any Car dot com” in the background.
Bartlby Bronson, the agency behind the campaign, explained that since the bar had recently been so comprehensively raised regarding irritating sounds emitted by your television, they were forced to act swiftly.
Agency head Stephen Asquith explained, “There was a time, just a few short weeks ago, that our campaigns were synonymous with extremely annoying emissions from your television set, but now we are barely an afterthought.”
“Advertising is about being remembered, and not always for the right reasons. Today our screens are filled it excruciating adverts such as ‘Go Compare’, Howard The Halifax guy, and anything featuring Michael Winner, so we’ve really had to step it up a notch this time.”
Improved
Asquith continued, “We really do think we’ve hit the jackpot with this one, truly capturing the Zeitgeist with our latest jaw-dropping creation.”
“When people picture themselves tearily ripping off their own lips just to stuff them inside their ears for mere a moment of blessed relief from the cacophony of noise coming from their televisions, we want them to be thinking about our client.”
One viewer who took part in focus group sessions trialling the new ad said, “The new advert drove me to a state where I was weeping into the carpet and praying for the sweet relief of death, but all the while I couldn’t help but wonder how much I’d get for my 2004 Vauxhall Corsa.”
“So in that respect, yes, it works perfectly.”
