by Social network Facebook has moved to address the privacy fears of its users by introducing a new ‘pinky swear’ security setting which ensures it will not let third party organisations know what you look like in a bikini.
The move comes after users complained that the privacy settings were more difficult to navigate than a path through a Weight Watchers meeting with a tray full of cream cakes.
Facebook Chief Executive Mark Zuckerberg told reporters, “The new pinky swear setting will be familiar to anyone who ever made a promise as a child.”
“We are pinky-swearing that your information is safe and secure and can not be seen by anyone who might want to sell you something, or just find out if you’re still as attractive as you were at school.”
“There are of course exceptions where we reserve the right to cross our fingers behind our backs before making the pinky swear, but the full details are in the fine print if you look hard enough.”
Customers
Though recognised as a move in the right direction, many users say the new settings do not go far enough.
One user told us, “How fucking difficult is it. Just stop telling everyone everything about me, all of the fucking time.”
“When I do something in real life, which tends to happen occasionally, I like to choose who I’d like to share that with, not start with the assumption that absolutely everyone on the Internet should know and work backwards from that. I’m not Katie Price for fucks sake.”
“As for the ‘pinky swear’, that’s not worth anything at all. I pinky swore I wouldn’t do anything with ‘those’ pictures I took of my last girlfriend, and now everyone south of Watford has seen them.”
