A study of Internet usage has discovered that playing Google’s free Pac-Man game is significantly more interesting than spending time on the tedious and mundane way in which you make your mediocre living.
In celebration of the anniversary of Pac-Man’s launch, Google made a free version of the game available on its website, eating up an estimated 4.8 million hours of work time, or £120m of lost productivity.
The free game, on a site not blocked by corporate Internet policies, was a welcome relief to workers with soul-destroying jobs everywhere.
Jane Morrow, 28 told us, “It’s my job to move pieces of paper from here, to here. But not before I’ve stamped them as ‘Received’. I often consider cutting myself at my desk just so I can feel something. Anything. Anything at all.”
“So yes, I’ve spent quite a lot of time playing this computer game on Google. But definitely no more than seven or eight hours a day since it was launched.”
Workers have denied that the game has lost millions of pounds worth of productivity from the economy, explaining that the assumption they would otherwise be productive is utterly ridiculous.
As 31 year-old Rob Davies told us, “If I wasn’t playing this game, there are at least a further dozen work-avoidance strategies I could employ before undertaking what could loosely be described as my ‘job’.”
“Only last Tuesday I spent four hours making a fort in the stationery cupboard. I’d probably still be building it if Tina from accounts hadn’t come along to refill the photocopier.”
“So seriously, if you think I’m going to start contributing just because they turn off a computer game, you’ll be sorely disappointed.”