Daily Mail locked in England-bashing foreigner-hating dilemma

author avatar by 14 years ago

The Daily Mail has found itself locked in an unresolvable dilemma after the dawning realisation that success in scuppering England’s 2018 World Cup hosting bid would force the tournament into the hands of foreigners.

The Daily Mail’s Sunday edition last week published a secret recording of the head of England’s World Cup bid team, Lord Triesman, saying the sort of thing everyone else in the football world was thinking anyway.

The revelation has had such a damaging effect on England’s chances of hosting the 2018 World Cup that there is now a very real possibility that the tournament will be hosted by foreigners.

As one media consultant told us, “As far as The Mail is concerned, the only thing worse than forcing the tournament into the hands of foreigners would be to have it staged in England, but hosted illegal immigrants.”

“The current situation is just one tiny step away from that reality.  As far as the average Daily Mail reader is concerned, a foreigner is just an illegal immigrant that hasn’t tried to come here yet.”

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A former Daily Mail worker told us, “It was a strange environment in the offices this last week, with brief periods of both joy and despair.”

“Unconfined joy at such a deliciously tawdry scoop as a result of a covertly recorded private conversation, and deep despair at the fact that the World Cup might now be held by some non-English people.”

“Such have been the massive mood swings in the office that it’s been like the Bipolar Association’s AGM.”

“One minute the Editor Paul Dacre was popping champagne, the next he was clawing at his skin trying to get ‘the dirty foreignness off’.”

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