Clegg to retain custody of Cable in historic prenuptial agreement

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Details of the prenuptial agreement signed by the Tories and the Lib Dems have been published in full in what the parties called a “historic document” outlining who will keep what in the event of a split.

The document was signed by both David Cameron and Nick Clegg before formalising their civil partnership last week.

As deputy prime minister Nick Clegg told reporters this morning, “Obviously we are both going into this civil partnership hoping for the best, but the prenup is quite clear on ‘who gets what’ should things go wrong.”

The agreement shows that in the event of a split, Nick Clegg will retain custody of Vince Cable, though David Cameron will be granted full access every other weekend, and for two weeks during the summer recess.

Nick Clegg has agreed to forgo any claim on power should the partnership fail, telling reporters, “I was perfectly happy to give up my claim to any actual power.”

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“People said I was only in this relationship for the power – but I’m not, I’m in this because I genuinely love what we stand for.”

“If we fail, I will happily walk away with exactly what I came in with.  Which is absolutely nothing.”

Joint Assets

The waters have been muddied by ambiguous wording surrounding the way in which they will deal with any joint success they have whilst they are together.

As one lawyer explained, “Should they split in the next few years, the prenup is more than a little vague as to who will take the credit for any economic turnaround they create before the next election.”

“Traditionally speaking, any assets accrued during a relationship would be split 50/50, but that’s going to be extremely difficult to achieve in these circumstances.”

“Obviously they will both want to claim the success as their own, but they can’t both have it.  Maybe it’s been left ambiguous deliberately – I’m sure it was a sticking point in the prenup negotiations.”

“One thing that does come through loud and clear – nobody wanted George Osborne.”

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