Publishers of Zoo magazine were left reeling yesterday after complaints that its misogynist publication, which is aimed at misogynists, contained the misogynist views of cable television hard-man, Danny Dyer.
Complaints have flooded in after Dyer used his agony thug columns to recommended cutting the face of a women who had the temerity to end a relationship with an avid Zoo reader.
One woman who read a copy her builder had left lying around complained, “It’s not right. Magazines designed for the very purpose of objectifying women shouldn’t be able to write about women as if they are objects.”
“It’s bad enough they’re fooling the readers into thinking Danny Dyer can read and write, but this is too much.”
Zoo Editor Tom Etherington explained to reporters that Dyer’s column was an accurate reflection of modern relationships, and that his comments represented sound advice.
“It’s just like abused women everywhere keep telling each other, if ‘e don’t hit ya, ‘e don’t love ya.”
“Recommending a bit of domestic violence is just giving your average Zoo reader an easy away of saying, ‘I Love You’.”
A representative of Mr. Dyer said he was unhappy with the coverage and he has issued a statement clarifying the situation, claiming he was misquoted by the magazine.
Dyer told reporters, “I was misquoted. Simple as. According to the editors, saying ‘give ‘er a slap’ as the answer to every single relationship question ever put to me got a bit repetitive – so I was trying something new, liked they asked me to.”
“But I want to make it clear to all Zoo readers that I would NEVER encourage a dumped bloke to use a weapon like a knife on their ex – something that proper naughty is just too easy to prove.”
“Much better to push her in front of a car, or hire someone to cut her for you. Larvely.”
Dyer concluded, “Look, now matter what the papers say, I’m no male chauvinist. In fact, the only thing worse than a male chauvinist, is a little lady who just won’t do as she’s told.”