by Take That star Mark Owen yesterday apologised to his wife for being caught by a tabloid and being forced to confess his indiscretion to millions of gullible idiots via their daily comic.
In an interview with the people who so obviously caught him, Owen said,”I can only apologise to my wife for being so bad at covering my tracks that even The Sun could discover my previous conquests.”
“Being outwitted by a tabloid newspaper is a mistake someone in my position should never make.”
“I realise I am a role model to millions, and hopefully they won’t be too let down by my inability to stay one step ahead of people who are employed by The Sun.”
“This is a low point, yes, but we hope to be left alone whilst I try to rebuild the trust of my wife in my ability to avoid being blackmailed into interviews by members of Fleet Street.”
Take That
Members of the Take That fansite have been quick to leap to Owen’s defence, claiming it could happen to anyone.
Shelley Jones, 32, said, “He shouldn’t let the acute embarrassment of being caught by The Sun, and being forced into an ‘exclusive tell all’ interview stop him enjoying his life.”
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Well, that’s not true actually, I imagine the shame and embarrassment is crippling.”
“In my worst nightmares I can’t imagine what it must be like to have family and friends think you actually chose to voluntarily talk to The Sun newspaper about your private life.”
“But all that matters is that us fans still want to hear him sing some songs written by the fat one. No, not the fat who left the band, the fat one who stayed.”
