Cameron to launch custody battle for ex-wife Bigelow’s talent

author avatar by 14 years ago

Director James Cameron is to launch a legal battle against ex-wife Kathryn Bigelow for custody of her talent, claiming he is better prepared to care for and nurture it.

The couple, who divorced in 1991, have publicly claimed to be on reasonably amicable terms, until last night when Bigelow won the Best Director Oscar for her film ‘Hurt Locker’, ahead of Cameron’s cartoon cat epic, ‘Avatar’.

Cameron is said to have told close friends, “Kathryn and I have got on just fine since the divorce, but I never in my darkest nightmares thought she’d turn the talent against me.”

“I got the house, and the cars in the divorce settlement, and I reluctantly let her keep the talent, but on the proviso I’d get full weekend access, and that we wouldn’t try and turn it against each other.”

“But the way she’s used it to make this absolutely terrific movie is just spiteful, and shows just what an uncaring custodian of the talent she really is.”

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Bigelow, who was celebrating victory last night said, “Look, I’ve told James, the talent is now old enough to choose who it wants to spend time with, and if he thinks going to court will help him, he’s wrong.”

“If anything, it will just alienate the talent even further.  The talent often comes back from weekends with James exhausted from his tireless pursuit of an idea that doesn’t involve really massive computers that haven’t even been invented yet.”

“I will defend my position as custodian of the talent to the full extent of the law, and if he pursues this course of action I will even move to restrict his access to the talent to just once a month, like all the other sad divorced creatives out there.”

The final word went to Cameron, who claimed he didn’t even need the talent, “Look, I came up with the idea for Avatar just days after Kathryn left me and took the talent to move in with her mother.”

“So I’ve still got it.  Yes, definitely.”

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