Tragedy as killer whale does exactly what it says on the tin

author avatar by 14 years ago

A trainer at the SeaWorld park in Orlando, Florida, has died after her colleagues finally discovered why the animal she worked with is called a ‘killer whale’.

Tragedy struck shortly after the whale did what came naturally to it following millions and millions of years of evolution which have turned it into a highly skilled aquatic killing machine.

A park worker explained, “We’ve long heard people calling for us to put on shows with the docile whale, or even the cuddly whale, but we’d never really understood why.  Until today.”

“I honestly thought the ‘killer’ bit was ironic, or maybe just a poker handle.”


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Safety campaigners have pointed out that a killer whale killing someone who got in the water with it, is as much a news item as ‘monkey eats banana’.

James Donald, of Sense about Things That Can Kill You said, “There is a reason why the circus doesn’t contain acts performed by convicted murderers.  It’s because they are likely to kill people with the slightest provocation.”

“And watching people get killed isn’t all that entertaining, unless you’re sat in a darkened theatre eating popcorn.”

“Honestly, this is a terrible thing to have happened, but maybe people will look at the name of an animal before deciding whether to play with it and humiliate in front of thousands of people every day?”

A SeaWorld spokesperson concluded, “We are all in mourning, but the show must go on, and we’ve got this Great White shark, and I think we’re pretty close to getting in there and trying a few tricks with it. You’d pay to see that, right?”

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