UN disaster response team heads to UK

author avatar by 14 years ago

A specialist Disaster Response team is flying into the UK today, as British Government departments struggle to cope with an impending inflation-based financial disaster.

The emergency team consists of experts with a great deal of experience in the hyper-inflation environment of Zimbabwe, and they arrive following a desperate plea by Prime Minister Gordon Brown for aid in dealing with spirally inflation.

The announcement comes as figures released yesterday showed that UK inflation jumped to 2.9% for December 2009 – the largest monthly rise since records began.

A Whitehall spokesperson told us, “We had hoped that printing money under the guise of quantitative easing would have a different effect to just printing money and calling it money printing.  It hasn’t.”

“It appears that it doesn’t matter what you call the act of printing money, it still has the same effect.  Who knew?”

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Downing Street sources said that the Disaster Response Team, which includes Spin Doctors, intelligence specialists, and financial sector experts will be vital in supporting the Government’s response to the inflationary crisis.

The Whitehall spokesperson continued, “This team from Zimbabwe is a welcome addition, and they highly experienced in dealing with the PR problems of hyperinflation.”

“The advance team have already helped the BBC to spin the crisis as nothing to do with us, and we expect the financial consultants to offer a great deal of help with how many zeros will need to be added to Sterling to make it viable.”

“To keep up morale we’ve had a sweepstake on when we’ll see the first £100 loaf of bread.  I got April 24th, and I’m feeling pretty confident to be honest.  It’s just a shame the £45 winner’s pot will be worth fuck all by then.”

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