Obama credits Nobel Peace prize to US missiles of friendship

author avatar by 15 years ago

As US President Barack Obama accepted his Nobel Peace prize yesterday, he was quick to pay thanks to the application of the US military and their missiles of friendship, guns of pacifism, and bullets of love.

The move to to give a peace prize to the Commander in Chief of the most heavily armed fighting unit on the planet raised eyebrows in certain quarters, but the criticism is unfounded, claimed the Nobel committee.

“He is very deserving, because that armed force could so easily be run by someone much, much worse.”


President Obama used his acceptance speech to explain why sending thousands of trained killers to the other side of the world is worthy of a peach prize.

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“Some might say that firing rockets into Afghan villages is an act of aggression, but I say to you ‘no’, it is one of love.”

“Peace is at the very heart of what we do, and our tanks of tranquillity to rampaging forwards in search of peace.”

“A peace that will come just as soon as we’ve killed everyone we don’t like.”

The chairman of the voting committee had the last word, “People might say this award is a bit like giving ‘Slimmer of the Year’ to an obese pie eater,”

“But you are obviously forgetting the efforts that the pie eater is going to in removing tempting food from the clutches of other fatties.  Well, this is a bit like that.”

“By using loads and loads of deadly weapons, there are less for the truly mental people to use.  It makes sense if you think about it, honest.”

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