The Royal Mail has announced plans to hire 30,000 temporary workers who will be responsible for losing your Christmas cards during this coming festive season.
The extra staff will deal with the backlog caused by the upcoming strikes and will be used to search your cards for cash and gift voucher equivalents.
The Communication Workers Union has described the decision as grossly unfair as it will deprive many postal workers of their “unofficial Christmas bonus”.
A CWU spokesperson said, “Accidentally ‘losing’ cards laden with cash or gift vouchers is one of the few benefits postmen get these days, and now the Royal Mail want to take that from us too?”
“Losing mail is a skilled job, and if they think any old Tom Dick or Harry can do it, then they’re sorely mistaken.”
“In fact, because of this decision, it wouldn’t surprise if me if pretty much every card made it to it’s intended destination this year.”
“Then you’ll be sorry.”
The public has continued to remain fairly ambivalent to the Royal Mail’s plans to employ so many temporary workers to combat the strike action.
“It’s difficult to know which I’d prefer,” said one Royal Mail customer, “my mail being ignored by a striking postman, or it being lost completely by an incompetent temporary worker.”
“Fundamentally I’m still not getting the mail that’s been sent to me.”
“And I suppose that if what I send to other people is simply going to be stolen, it doesn’t matter who took it, does it really?”