Jan Moir’s career to die of perfectly natural causes

author avatar by 15 years ago

The career of Daily Mail columnist Jan Moir is desperately clinging to life after suffering an adverse reaction following exposure to common sense, unbiased thinking, and the Internet.

Moir, who recently wrote about the death of Stephen Gately – suggesting that his demise was likely the result of ‘anything but’ natural causes – is now said to be preparing for the worst.

“It’s sad, but her career has had a good run.” said Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre.

“There are those who would call her a short-sighted bigot, perhaps even a wilfully deceitful crack-whore, but they don’t realise how upsetting the loss of her career will be to millions of witless homophobes and racists.”

“Now who will explain the world around them in terms they understand?”

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“Exposing her article to rational-thinking Internet users, was perhaps asking too much of her career.  We will mourn its passing.”

Great Loss

One Mail reader told us, “All she did was speak the truth about Stephen Gately’s unusual death, because every Daily Mail reader knows that the gays can only die if you drive a wooden stake through their heart.”

“His death is very suspicious, maybe someone should think about interviewing all the immigrants, eh?”

As the Press Complaints Commission consider switching off Jan Moir’s career, there has been speculation among readers of the Daily Mail that foul play is to blame for its untimely passing.

“How can a career ‘die’, just like that?” asked one reader on a Daily Mail internet forum.

“There is clearly a homosexual conspiracy involved, it wouldn’t surprise me if there were some black people to blame as well.”

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