Just be clearer about what you really want me to do, Brown tells party

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Gordon Brown has faced down his Labour critics by asking them to be a bit clearer in whatever it is that they are trying to say to him.

As the eighth minister from the cabinet resigned after refusing to publicly back the Prime Minister, Brown has asked for clarity in their demands.

“MPs are notorious for double-speak and the indirect nature of their oratory,” said Brown to the waiting press.

“So I’m afraid I have no idea what it is they are trying to say.”

“Perhaps they should just try some of this ‘plain speaking’ I hear so many good things about?”

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Last night former cabinet minister Stephen Byers said, “Gordon Brown will take this party to a humiliating defeat,” before publicly asking for him to resign.

Tom Harris MP had previously said, “Everybody hates you Gordon, EVERYBODY!”

This was followed by calls from various backbenchers of, “For the love of God please just resign,” and “If you don’t quit we will kill you to death.”

However the PM reacted with nonchalance to the avalanche of criticism thrown his way.

“This was just everyday idle tittle-tattle,” continued the Prime Minister.

“If they really wanted me to go, they’d just say so.”