Please just ignore global nuclear armegeddon, pleads Telegraph

author avatar by 15 years ago

The Daily Telegraph today asked everyone to just ignore what North Korea are doing as it still has plans to drag out the MPs expenses story for a few weeks yet.

With most sane people more concerned with whether we will all be here tomorrow than how many ducks their MP owns, the Daily Telegraph is expecting a fall in readership in the coming days.

“This isn’t fair,” said Benedict Brogan, deputy editor of the Daily Telegraph.

“We paid an absolute shitload for this story, and now that little pot-bellied megalomaniac has ruined it all.”

“We’ve still got weeks of expenses stuff still to come.”

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“If I didn’t know better I’d say our Government was egging on the North Koreans just to stop us writing about their expenses,” continued Brogan.

“Well trust me, that will not work.  We’ll keep writing about MPs expenses until the very bitter, monotonous, entirely predictable end.”

“Or until the North Koreans actually hit something other than an ocean.”

While the Telegraph’s front pages and website tried to drum up interest in which accountants some MPs used to check their taxes, the nation continued building nuclear fall out shelters in their gardens.