Manchester will this autumn become the first city where people will completely reject the national ID card, Jacqui Smith is to confirm later today.
Anyone over 16 in the city who holds a UK passport will be able to apply for a card at a post office or pharmacy, which will cost between £30 and £60.
Those MPs with even a passing understanding of the financial strain the country finds itself under have questioned the validity of spending £5bn on a scheme absolutely nobody wants.
However the real opponents are those expected to pay for each individual card.
“It’s going to cost me HOW much?” said one of Manchester’s many, many council estate scallies.
“Oh, it’s voluntary?”
“They can fuck off then.”
The story was similar across the city where locals pointed out what £60 could buy them in Manchester’s thriving Black market.
“That could get me an Xbox 360 and at least a dozen games from Fingers McGee.” said one 18 year-old.
“£60? That’s four 18 inch rims from a 2008 BMW, at least.”
“About 2 grams of cocaine if you negotiate properly. But it might be cut with washing powder.” said another.
The Home secretary said, “I am sure that people will soon see the value in giving the Government everything we want whilst simultaneously giving away their biometric data for absolutely no return whatsoever.”
“After all, they’ve been paying plenty in taxes for us to waste for years now.”