The names of 16 people barred from entering the UK for fostering extremism or hatred have been published for the first time.
Islamic extremists, white supremacists and a US radio host are among the 16 excluded in the five months to March, all of whom have been named by the Home Office.
Controversial Muslim Cleric and preacher Abdullah Qadri Al Ahdal is among those named.
“I’m delighted actually,” he said when speaking to reporters.
“I’d been thinking about getting a fake passport for a while now, but the UK Government has made the decision for me.”
“It might cost about £200, but Al Qaeda has deep pockets, so it’s fine. Their expenses policy is really very generous.”
“They’ll probably pay for the haircut and glasses to go with my new fake passport.”
The 16 names – which represents the equivalent of half a load from one of the many lorries full of illegal entrants that come to the UK each day – is expected to make a significant dent in the number of nasty people in the country.
“It’s a start,” said Frank Smalls, 64 of Bristol.
“But I’m more concerned about who isn’t on the list.”
“What about that Bin Laden fella? Are we going to welcome him with open arms then?”
“And I really don’t like the idea of Josef Fritzl taking a day trip around Bristol.”
The Home Office was unavailable for comment.