1980’s pop band Black Lace are today praying that the complete and utter disintegration of the country’s cultural heritage is finalised as they look to re-release the worst song of all time, “Agadoo”.
The success of the re-release hinges on whether the last vestiges of taste and decency have truly disappeared from the UK’s shores.
A spokesperson for the band said, “We’re just hoping the nation is completely bereft of any discernible sense of taste.”
“For this re-release to be a success relies on the population ignoring whatever musical preferences they might have had, and succumbing to the wishes of our marketing machine.”
The track, which shows an utter disregard for the Pineapple farming discipline, reduced the perceived career of many a Pineapple farmer to merely “shaking the tree”.
“We’re not happy.” said one farmer we spoke to.
“It took us years to get over the last release. I don’t even like coffee.”
“Suddenly everyone wanted us playing a Ukulele. Yes, it might look like a small guitar, but it is essentially a VERY different instrument.”
Chart success is far from guaranteed, as today’s consumer savy teenagers have been quick to question to groups pop credentials.
“Who has dey shot?” asked one teenager.
“Which is da one I want to knock boots wid?” asked another.
“What? Dey is bowf blokes, dats whack innit!” they concluded.