Sir Fred offers to return pension in classic April Fool ruse

author avatar by 15 years ago

Sir Fred Goodwin this morning telephoned Peter Mandelson to return his sizeable pension settlement from the RBS group, before excitedly yelling at the delighted Business Secretary, “April Fool!”

The offer to return his pension was withdrawn at the end of the conversation before Sir Fred hung up, cackling uncontrollably.

A Whitehall insider confirmed that Mandelson “went fucking apeshit”, as a potential political coup was pulled from his grasp.

More importantly, Mandelson also saw his title of “Best Practical Joker in British Politics” drift towards Sir Fred.

Funny man

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“Thinking he’d come so close to having Sir Fred back down was one thing, but no longer being the funniest man in politics? That really hurts,” said a spokesperson.

“He’s been the top dog with the practical jokes for so long now.”

sir fred april fool“His ‘cling film over the ladies toilets’ prank in 2001 is the April Fool joke everyone still talks about.  Well, until now.”

“I’m sure that Claire Short will be delighted to finally put that incident behind her.”

“He’s utterly distraught, because everyone knows that Sir Fred really got him with this one.  Hook, line and sinker.”

Taking it

Mr. Mandelson, famed in political circles for his ability to take a joke, is said to have had a complete sense of humour failure over the incident, which has seriously affected his own April Fool plans.

“He’d been practising his Barack Obama impression in order to con the PM into meeting him at Stringfellows, but he’s simply lost the heart for it now.”

“All because of Sir Fred’s fantastic ruse.”