The government is set to launch a probe into allegations that police probes probed ongoing probes.
“This habit of probe probing is a very poor probe practice and will not be tolerated” said Maureen Filch, head of the governments Probing Office.
“If probes can’t probe without being probed themselves then what is the point in having probes?”
A spokesman for the Metropolitan Police was alarmed by the Governments attitude.
“Both the government and the Met have a long tradition of launching probes.”
“They are one of the most effective methods of diffusing public outcry without actually doing anything useful.”
“But for probes to be effective we must ensure that our probes are not being probed…by probing those probes. Probes must be probed to be probeworthy.’
But Maureen Filch was adamant yesterday when speaking from the steps of her Gloucester home.
“Mark my words – if our probe finds anyone probing probes, they will be put on immediate probation.”
The Commissioner of the UK Police forces wanted to commment, but claimed not to understand the question.