African prayers answered as UK housing market stablises

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A number of African countries have expressed their profound relief at the UK’s stabilising property market.

Halifax Building Society reported a slight rise in house prices from December to January this year, leading experts to speculate that the fall in property prices appears to have stabilised, bringing relief to home owners throughout the UK.

This sense of relief has now spread to the African mainland.

Damisi Narku, a Congolese villager, summed up the mood among his fellow Africans, “Not being able to feed my children is one thing, but I wouldn’t wish negative equity on anyone.”

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Mr Narku said that he had barely been able to sleep since the last Nationwide Building Society figures had shown a year-on-year drop in the average UK house price of 17.2%.

“It was worrying,” he continued, “One day I was so depressed I couldn’t even be bothered to walk the six miles to the well.”

“But we are lucky.  Sometimes I look at my little mud hut that cost me just a few dollars to make, and I thank God for my good fortune.”

“How they have managed to survive for so long with such large mortgages is a miracle in itself.”

But it seems the prayers of an entire continent have now been answered.

“We prayed for the vulnerable home owners of Surrey, of London, of Dorset.  And praise God, He has seen fit to answer us.”